In the past seven years, there were a lot of ending and completion in my life.  I completed two undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Accounting.  An eight-year commitment that marked the most formative years of my life ended.  Lastly, the lives of three significant figures in my life also ended.  My dad died after about five years of having been paralyzed (left-half of the body) from a stroke.  My youngest and dearest brother Jon died suddenly of a heart attack at a young age of 35 (not even a year after my dad died), leaving three beautiful children behind.  Then about seven months ago, my mom died after losing an agonizing battle with lung cancer (almost a month short of her 80^th birthday).

            I will be lying if I do not admit that these past highs and lows of my life did not shatter my heart into millions of pieces (three times over).  If this is the way a phoenix rises from the ashes, I must say, it is excruciatingly painful!  Surprisingly enough, phoenix does rise from the ashes.  At this point, the only way to go is UP!  It is called RESILIENCE!  It is a word unknown to me until a mentor told me about it several years ago.  She told me once when I was in deep struggle, how she noticed and believed that I had this inner resilience to rise and stand upright in spite of the odds.  And I guess, right now, I just have to believe that she's right.

            Having lived independently, it was amazing how much the loss of my three best cheerleaders in life has affected me.  It truly was such a loss!  Except, those encouraging, loving and comforting words they have all said to me in those years past are echoing so loudly in my mind and heart.  Perhaps I did not really lose them.  Perhaps they are more present to me now that they are physically gone than they have ever been.  All I know is that the echoes of their love uplifts my spirit and move my heart to form new dreams, to seek out new experiences and perhaps find new cheerleaders.  We all know how much we all need cheerleaders in our lives. 

            To my late dad, mom and Jon, CHEERS to you! And to the lives you have lived!  Your memories and love will remain alive with me always!  You have been so much a part of me, that as long as I remain faithful to being authentically ME, YOU ALL will be with me!  Always!  Cheers to you!

           

Yes, yes, yes (Bri’s #24/50)! I’m off to see the Great Wizard! I’m off to Emerald City! I'm relocating to Seattle, taking my books and the cat! I have three more days to tread in my job here in SJ, CA and I’m driving off Sunday morning! I’m beginning to really love and enjoy this thing called ‘change.’ Change is good, really good! It’s like pushing a door open and letting fresh air in… ahhhh… the feel of that fresh, crisp air! I love it! I can hear the road calling my name! I can’t wait to be out on the road again! Of course, I’m still looking for lodging and a job, but that will come (hopefully)… (thanks to C4C… I’m hoping to get some good leads on craiglist). Indeed, I will keep an eye on the yellow markings on the road. So, here’s hoping that the Great Wizard will tell me that ‘I am finally home!’

Okay.  So I am leaving for Washington on Sunday.  All ready to drive off!  Except I still haven't found any available lodging.  I emailed some folks at craiglist but no response yet.  I could delay my travel plans, but I already have interviews lined up for next week starting Wednesday. 

I am so very excited to go.  I don't feel scared at all that there's no place for me to go.  In fact, I already have a sleeping bag in the car, just in case I need to spend a night in the car parked somewhere.  Am I worried?  Of course I am.. I'm a Virgo... worry is my middle name!  A lot of my friends tell me I'm brave for doing this... for taking off and doing what I want to do, where I want to go!  But if you ask me, I think maybe they're just projecting their wishful thoughts on me.  And perhaps thinking, that they would consider themselves brave if they can do what I am planning to do. 

I am beginning to think that I must have hit my head really hard when I fell about a year and a half ago.  I did have a golf ball size bump in my forehead.  Maybe that is what's causing me to leap and go through with this foolishness.  Or maybe, having lost my loved ones has pushed me to throw caution in the air.  Do I still want to go?  You betcha.  Do I have any plans?  I think I may have exhausted all of them already.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get there... Of course, I can always check in at a motel, but that would probably use up my funds really fast.  I cannot believe that my immediate future depends on two prospective persons who placed a roommate want ad in craiglist.  I'm sure they feel weary to take in someone from out of state, so quickly,  without much time to check references and all.. I would be too...   And where does that leave me?  Hopefully, not out in the cold!

I cannot believe I'm still feeling hopeful about hearing from them... I'm worried but I'm still hopeful.  Now, if that is not foolishness, I don't know what it is.  Well, this is my choice!  I just wish I didn't need to worry so much so I can at least enjoy the feeling of spreading my wings as I fly off further to the West!

Wouldn't you know it?  Went online just now, contacted an ad that looks interesting and VOILA!  Got a response back and I have a place to drive up to when I reach Seattle!!!  Oh, me of little faith!  So, okay this might be just a temporary lodging but at least I'm not driving to a motel at the end of the journey!!!  :) I am so happy!  And now, I am definitely going to enjoy the ride to Seattle!!!!  Watch out road!!! Oh Great Wizard, here I come!

BTW, I'm driving off on Monday instead of Sunday!  My Jeep gave me a scare this morning- 'thought I have car problems, but negative.  Mechanic said, no problem with the car!  And so, all is well!!!